Dancing My Life Away

Reassessment is a constant companion to transition.  It's a solid method of working towards  constructive change.  I don't want to go willy nilly into anything.  There is a time for that carefree lifestyle, but I'm not there.  I have responsibilities.  Kids and bills and pets.

But the truth is I was never really carefree or impulsive.  I felt the weight of needing to consider others from a very young age.  Do I ever imagine doing as I please and damn the consequences?  Only briefly, in my fantasies.  Those fantasies usually involved a hunky male celeb who later came out as gay.  George Michael, Ricky Martin.  Can I pick 'em or what? Even my fantasies were delusional.

Still, I like my kids and pets.  I can even say I know I've earned those bills, even if I don't always like them.  They're mine, to manage and juggle.  Because I can. 

So, back to reassessment.  I'm about to graduate with a liberals arts degree that I thought would take me to grad school.  Only the state grad programs I'd like to enroll in have all been cut because the state of California has no money.  My choices are private schools, which cost waaay to much for me, or changing my focus.  Hmmm.  What can I do with a liberal arts degree from an okay school?  Looks like a return to the business world for me.

In the first few days after I made this realization, I was crushed.  I could so completely see myself in my target profession, changing lives, making a living, being proud of my contrbution.  After wallowing briefly in the certainty that someone else had pulled the rug out, had determined my fate without my consent, I got over it.  I did what I do best.  I started reassessing.

I got online and began looking at job listings, evaluating which jobs were open to my skill set and experience level.  Finally, my age pays off a bit!  I have years and years of work experience.  I'll be a new graduate, but my resume won't be a blank slate, waiting for my life to start.  I have some solid business experience and a wide range of interests.

I looked at organizations I'm interested in being involved with.  Places I had ruled out because they weren't directly related to my major.  But without a graduate degree in my major, I'm wide open to many different fields!

I can still make a significant contribution.  Being present in the world, making purposeful decisions and taking thoughtful actions can influence others everyday, whether directly or indirectly.

I might as well plan on  having some fun wherever I work.  I know I can work hard.  Now I also want to play hard.  Why not dance through this journey?  I'm accepting the gift of life and adventure that fits in with my world.  Kids, pets, bills and all!